I spent a little while on deciding whether to post this tonight, or wait until the morning. This poem is inspired by an ongoing debate I am having with myself, as I find myself thinking about someone I met recently more and more often. I know where I stand about her, but she has no idea.
I will not use the big “L” word, because it is an absolute, and I can’t be all in if she’s not on board too can I? Officially though I am a month into feeling more inspired to do what I love, which has always been writing. I have sought real inspiration ever since I started writing, and now I can’t stop. I literally am thinking about new ideas for stories, and poems almost all the time.
No matter how inspired I feel from meeting this individual, I keep coming back to the same thing. It is not my place to convince her that she is what drives my happiness and creativity. If she is interested in me, she needs to find her reason for that on her own. If I’m wrong, feel free to tell me what you think. Here’s what this internal debate inspired this evening.
I could never try to make you see me the way I see you.
No matter what kind of Hell it puts me through.
It is only fair that this be your decision.
Even if my life seems to be left with a gaping incision.
Your path is not there for me to alter.
No matter how badly this may cause me to falter.
There is no life that is mine to influence.
I cannot sway you, not even because this feeling is so intense.
All I will do for now is hold on to hope.
With just that I know I can cope.
Even without my help you will find me out.
Of that fact I have no doubt.
For hope is enough when a feeling is true.
That warming thought will carry me through.