Last night was another night I had trouble sleeping. I spent a few hours trying to get comfortable, but it is just that my mind is too active to sleep. The thing that is on my mind leaves me restless as I wish for more of it, even just a little bit would be enough.
It is like I am a junky needing a drug to balance myself. Otherwise, I am scratching at my skin trying to get the demons out.
I’m starting to feel like my writing is my skin scratching, as it seems to give me relief, and as my thoughts make me restless I am led to get out my demons in some way. If that’s true, it led me to this 1am release.
My mind must be turning to absolute mush.
I am so high all day, but it is such a rush.
Turning to you does not require any sneaky ploy.
I constantly yearn for your artificial joy.
I would take you in any form I could find.
All of them, I know, will elate my mind.
You lighten my soul and clear my senses.
Without you my entire mind and body tenses.
I will pay, plead and pray to find out your stash.
Anything to ensure that this feeling does not crash.
Even the start of withdrawal causes me anxious tics.
I need to find you again for my next fix.
Every moment of happiness I have starts with you.
Thankfully, you are not hard to find from my minds view.