Often when something really hurts we never really get over the pain, just learn to live with it.  This is often the case when dealing with loss, we over think what we could have changed so that the time we had before the loss was better lived, or what we could have done to prevent it altogether.

In reality, there was probably nothing we could do.  The moment that caused the loss occurred well before the loss itself, sometimes so far in advance that years went by where we unknowingly spent time with someone who was no longer really there.  No matter the type of loss, from a break up to a death, we’re in a state of denial dealing with the grief before the loss has even really occurred.

This is also why I believe that a sudden loss is more difficult to deal with at first, we’re entering that state of denial after the loss.

The stages of grief come and go.

But the pain always stings just so.

It creeps up slowly in this state of denial.

Presenting loss’ first real trial.

With anger the pain burns from very deep.

You fight with the pain losing hours of sleep.

Then comes the bargaining when the pain grows.

Hoping it will get easier as the anger slows.

Depression sets in as it really starts to hurt.

The pain and your sanity steadily flirt.

Acceptance comes in the end when the pain is embraced.

A moment where all the demons are faced.

But the pain never truly goes away.

It’s a bitter reminder that you want to stay.