When the time came that I knew I could not live that way anymore. I changed. I became a person that didn’t feel. I became numb to her threats. I lacked all reason to show her I cared, because when that moment came, I realized finally that after all that time, she never did.
The moment she tried to make my friends feel guilty for leaving her out of a picture, that was the point of realization. Really a minor thing, but it set off the chain of how it all started for me. First, it was how I should not spend my money doing something with my friends that had been planned for ages, so I could take her away for a weekend instead because I “Didn’t do enough nice things for her.” Then how I should leave the job I enjoyed and find a new job so we could live closer to each other. Followed closely by how that and many jobs to follow weren’t good enough for me, and how I should follow her to the city to have more opportunities. That’s where it really started. I missed concerts I had tickets to because she didn’t want to go with me, she even would pick up extra shifts at work to ensure she couldn’t go, and of course would never allow me to go without her and enjoy myself. She even pushed me to quit a job because the girls I worked with were “too pretty.” Suddenly nothing became good enough.
So in that moment I saw her trying to pull a guilt trip on two of my closest friends, the fight out began.
The frustration finally hit me,
All the torment plain to see.
I had been living under excessive control,
Now I had to climb out of that hole.
Nothing I had done was ever enough,
But that fact, is what made me be tough.
I stopped giving in to everything she wanted.
I no longer could be so easily taunted.
No longer caving to each empty threat.
My freedom was earned with all her debt.
Paying the price for her lack of action,
Those worthless words stopped getting reaction.
Fighting out of it, the threats only became worse,
The final one ignored, her parting curse.
The last things she threatened no longer were against her well-being, but against mine. As the fighting got worse, I guess she realized that she could no longer control me with empty threats against herself, and if that wasn’t enough to make her realize it; I was polite enough to let her know that she was an idiot if she thought I could believe she would commit suicide over me. Especially since I knew that she never had any love for me to begin with.
The final threats came quickly from there, first there was the threat against my reputation when she started into the accusations of me being unfaithful. Going as far as to call my own mother to try to win her to her side. The threat against my life came after that, with me awaking to her attempting to suffocate me with a pillow. That seemed to be the reaction to the realization that she had no grounds to accuse me of cheating. Finally, the threat I laughed off as the biggest lie that ever came out of her mouth. The curse she attempted to put on me to drag me down for the rest of my life. Threatening to ruin my life.
The way out came later that same night when I got home to an empty house, packed up my things to leave, and was interrupted by three uniformed police officers that were there to arrest me. The accusation, a horrifying idea that I could never have imagined.